Jan 30, 2014

Saying goodbye to Grandma

It has been a rough week.

My sweet Grandma Ida had a sudden illness a couple of weeks ago and was not doing well. My mom called several times with updates. Grandma had good days and bad days and no one was sure if she was going to recover this time.


I love my Grandma so much, she had been such a huge part of my life, especially when I was young. I wanted her to know how grateful I was for her. I sat down that night and wrote her a letter. I knew I would be too emotional to read it to her and hoped someone would read it for me.


Mom called the next day and said she had taken a turn for the worst and I better come as soon as I could. Grandma had asked that everyone come. She knew it was time.


This was going to be so hard.


I was worried that I would be an emotional mess knowing this would be the last time I would see her. I prayed that I would have strength to share a few happy moments with her. I knew it would be hard. I repeated, "I can do hard things" to myself over and over.


After mom's phone call, I quickly threw some things together, tucked Grandma's letter in my bag and checked Kaity out of school early. We headed to Idaho. Markham was too busy at work to get away, which was hard but the drive gave me time to think and ponder about all my happy memories of Grandma and pray for strength.


My mom, the kiddos and me and Lindsey and her kiddos arrived at the hospital. My Uncle Lee was there with her and explained she was in a lot of pain at the moment. I panicked a little because I wasn't prepared to see her in a lot of pain and was afraid it would be hard for her to have us there. They gave her some morphine and in a few minutes she was feeling a lot better. 


I took Kaity and Jackson to her bedside, she had an oxygen mask on and looked a little disheveled. But her blue eyes were bright and she was smiling. The kiddos did not flinch. They exchanged love yous and smiles. I was proud of them.


Afterwards, my mom took them out to the waiting room and gave me and Lindsey some time with her. Grandma and I held hands and talked for a few minutes. She was difficult to understand but we managed. It was hard to see her this way. I wanted to burst into tears, but I smiled. I was given the strength I had pleaded for. 


She wanted us to polish her nails. Grandma always had polished nails. She wanted them to be pretty for the funeral.


Hard to think about. I wanted to cry.

I swallowed hard and fought back tears. I thought, "I can do hard things."

While I removed her polish she said, "Don't be mad at me if I fall asleep." It made me smile, she was so sweet. I told her I wanted her to enjoy the sweet peace dozing with meds brings. The morphine had kicked in and I was happy she was no longer in pain." She dozed in and out. Lindsey and I polished her nails a light pink color she had picked out.


After awhile. It was time to go.


We wondered if we should wake her to tell her we were leaving. I didn't want to say "goodbye" but knew I would regret it if we just left. I approached her bedside. I held her hand and told her we would come back and see her tomorrow. We were staying the night at my parents house but I seriously doubted she would still be with us the next day but I couldn't bare to say "goodbye." I kissed her forehead and told her I loved her. She said I love you so much." I fought back the tears until we left her room and then I fell apart. I pulled the letter I had written from my bag and gave it to mom. With tears, she said she would read it to Grandma. I was grateful.


Later that night, she slipped into a coma and did not wake again. I'm so happy I was able to be there and share a few last moments and words with her.


I had a restless night at home. Mom and her siblings had originally planned to take shifts through the night, but felt Grandma was so close to passing no one dared leave. I went to bed around 1030. They were all still at the hospital. Adelyn was sick with a cough and ear infection and struggled to sleep. I struggled to sleep as well. I knew if they all came home, it meant Grandma had gone. I lied in bed wondering if she was still with us or had passed. At around 5:30 in the morning, I heard them come home. She had passed away a little earlier, surrounded by her 4 children. It was Thursday, January 23rd. Her struggle was over.


Mom and her siblings were so emotionally and physically exhausted. They all tried to get some sleep.


I wanted to give them peace and quiet, difficult with the kiddos so I got packed up and left around 10.


I cried the entire way home. It was a mix of loss and happiness that her and Grandpa were reunited.


We would be heading back in a few days for the funeral.


Monte called me on the way home and asked if Lindsey and I would give the Life Sketch at the funeral, standing at the pulpit together for support.Through tears, I told him I honestly didn't think I could do it.


He called Lindsey.

She called me and said she would do it if I would. She said, "I think we can do it together." I had serious doubts. She told me to think about it.

A few hours later, at home I noticed a tube of red lipstick in my bathroom drawer. Grandma always wore lipstick. I took it and wrote "I can do hard things" on the bathroom mirror.


I decided with my sister at my side, we could do the life sketch for Grandma.


***


Her funeral was on January 29th. It was a cold and rainy morning. I had prayed so hard that I would not be hopelessly emotional. Her story is so fascinating, I didn't want to ruin it with a squeaky voice and deep sobs. It was a happy time to celebrate her life and legacy. Grandma had so much grace, courage and faith. I needed to be like her.


As I stood there with Lindsey. I was overcome with comfort and peace. I was given a measure of strength well beyond my own in those moments and I am so grateful. I was amazed at how well I kept it together. Lindsey did an awesome job too. Grandma was proud I am sure. Afterwards, I fell apart, and that was ok.


I am so grateful for my testimony of our Savior, Jesus Christ and of the Plan of Salvation. I know I will see Grandma again, and Grandpa. I know they are together now and that brings me great comfort and peace.


She was a very special lady, dearly loved and will be greatly missed.



 
 Grandma with Kaitlyn in 2007
Celebrating Grandma's 89th Birthday in Idaho-  March 2011
Christmas 2013

Grandma's life history

Ida May Willis was born on March 6th 1922 in Liverpool, England. She was the youngest of 6 children. Her parents joined the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in the early 1900’s before she was born.  She remained an active member her whole life.

She remembers going to school as a child and listening to her teacher warn the class about “evil Mormons”. The teacher told them that Mormons had horns and wore black capes. And that they kidnapped young women and took them away to the walled fortress of Salt Lake where they were never heard from again.

As a child, Grandma struggled with childhood diseases and several other serious conditions. She stayed a month and a half in the hospital when she was about 7 years old.  At another time she spent a month in bed because of a heart condition, and later she spent 2 months in bed with rheumatic fever. Her mother started giving her cod liver oil 3 times a day for several years. Grandma hated this but it must have done the trick because she lived nearly 92 healthy and full years. When she was 16, her mother died. She was 57 years old and had not had an easy life.

In the spring of 1939, before the war started, Ida went to a Youth Conference in Sheffield. Young people from all over the British Mission came for 3 days. President Hugh B. Brown, was the British Mission President and his family came with all the missionaries.

(Enter Handsome Elder Frodsham, also known as Grandpa) 

Ida was walking down the road and she heard someone calling out to her. She turned around to find a very good looking missionary trying to get her attention! In Grandma’s words,“He had black wavy hair and the sparkliest brown eyes! Very attractive!”

Later, Ida learned that when Lee saw her that day he turned to his companion and said, “You see that pretty little English girl? I’m going to marry her.”  

This handsome missionary asked who she was and where she lived. He introduced himself as Elder Frodsham, who was serving in Rochdale. He was the manager of the Rochdale “Greys” Baseball Team. This was a team of missionaries who played ball as well as did regular missionary work. President Brown thought it would be a great way for the missionaries to meet people. The “Greys” played all over England and started many teams at schools. Baseball was virtually unknown in England until this time

Rochdale, where Elder Frodsham served was quite a long way from Liverpool and Ida didn’t think she would ever see him again.  But he wrote her a letter saying after his mission was over he would come to Liverpool so they could become better acquainted.  In the meantime, on 2 occasions the Liverpool members rented a bus to go watch the “Greys” play local teams and Ida went along. They met briefly again. One time they came to Liverpool to play and stayed over to attend the Liverpool Branch and of course Ida was there so they had met about 4 times altogether.
           
Unfortunately Lee’s plans to return to Liverpool after his mission were foiled when all the missionaries were sent home when the war started. Ida thought that would be the end of their brief friendship.  However, after Lee had been home for a little he wrote to her and they corresponded for awhile. Lee knew Ida was the one from the first time he saw her, and in a letter asked her to marry him!

Getting married seemed impossible to Ida, there was 7000 miles between them and there was a war going on, which meant she couldn't leave England because she was of military age. Young men and women were being drafted for the war effort. But they decided if the opportunity for them to be together came, they would get married.
           
Lee joined the National Guard for a years training which all young men were supposed to do at the time, thinking he would get it out of the way in case Ida could get to the U.S. But just a few days before his year ended, the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor, so the U.S declared war on Japan and Germany too. Lee’s one year of training turned into 5 years.
           
Lee and Ida would have to wait

At this time, it had been 3 years since they had seen each other and all they really knew of one another had been through letters which they wrote everyday. Cook’s travel agency had been trying to find a way for Ida to get to the U.S for 2 years, but since she could not get a visa or passport things were at a standstill. Then one day, Cook’s called and said they could book a flight for her on a plane and get her a temporary passport (which required she get married within 48 hours of being in the U.S.) She planned to do so.

However, before her departure date a plane was shot down over Lisbon. There were no jets in those days and propeller planes could not make it across the Atlantic Ocean without stopping to refuel in Lisbon. This cancelled all the bookings and really slowed things down.

Lee and Ida would have to wait

A couple weeks later, Cook’s called Ida and asked if she would be wiling to go by boat. This was risky because the Germans had submarines all over the Atlantic and had been sinking a lot of US and English ships. Ida decided she had waited long enough. She would go by boat. She was booked on a British ship, the SS Hillary, which was set to sail in just 2 days. There were only 100 passengers. Mostly Jewish refugees escaping from Europe and the Germans. They had to leave everything they owned behind except what they could carry on their person.



In her own words, she recounted, “When the time came, it was very difficult to leave; my father had died a few months earlier, so my sister Mae and I were living alone. I didn't want to go and leave Mae alone and felt very relieved when a girl who was a friend decided to move in with Mae and share expenses. I wondered, when I left that morning, whether I would ever see any of them again. Mae and Joan and two other close friends came down to the Pier Head with me. They were the only people who knew I was leaving that morning on a ship. (I had been warned not to tell anyone of my departure, because there were spies everywhere and we didn't want them to know when there was a ship sailing) They could only come so far down the pier with me, and then I had to go on alone. That was the hardest part, and I had a very lost and lonely feeling as I waved a last goodbye.

"There were several ships traveling together in a convoy for protection.  In an effort to dodge submarines, the convoy zigzagged across the ocean, turning the normal 5 day voyage into 3 weeks. One very stormy night when the ship was really tossing in a rough sea, a submarine found the convoy. In the small hours of the morning we were roused from sleep by a ship's steward and told to get our valuables together and go to our lifeboat stations. We dressed in a hurry and for our passports and visas and whatever else we valued and could carry. I grabbed a pair of nylon hose (not yet heard of in the England) which Lee had sent me, which I been keeping to wear to my wedding! We huddled close to our lifeboat stations for what seemed like hours, but which probably was only an hour or two, and were finally told we could go back to bed. I don't know how they could even have launched a lifeboat in that rough sea, let alone being set adrift in one. The next day we discovered that the ship next to us had been torpedoed in the night, and our ship had been hit, but for some unknown reason the torpedo had not exploded. Perhaps because we were all praying so hard. The Captain tried to keep it all quiet so as not to panic the passengers, but one of the ship's officers sat at our table in the dining room so we got the news."

“We arrived in New York City - a subdued and very grateful group. The sight of the Statue of Liberty was impressive but also reminded me that once more I would be alone, as the friends I had made during the 3 week voyage would all be going their different ways."

She flew to Salt Lake City, hoping Lee would be there to meet her, but discovered that while she was on the ocean for 3 weeks, Lee had been transferred to Officers School in Georgia. His family came to meet her and took her home to Brigham City. The next day a FBI agent came to the home and asked about Ida. During the war, they followed up on all arrivals to the county, even friendly aliens.  She told him that Lee was in Georgia and that her visa specified that she had to be married within 48 hours, which was impossible now.  He gave her a week to get back to Georgia and get married or she would be sent back to England.

She got on a train and rode for 3 days and 2 nights. Lee could only get out of camp for 24 hours, so they were married by a Justice of the Peace and as soon as Lee graduated, they traveled back and were sealed in the Logan Temple


Nine months later, Lee was sent overseas for the war.

Lee and Ida would again have to wait.

Ida stayed in Burley with his family. Three months later, their oldest son Lee Willis was born, It was 2 years later when the war in Europe ended and Lee could come home and meet his son, who was now 2 years old!  Lee went to Chiropractic College and set up practice in Burley. He was a very good doctor and had a successful practice. He enjoyed a good reputation in the community.

They had 3 more children, Terri, Linnell and Janice. After Grandpa retired from the office, they served 2 missions together. The first in Dallas, Texas and then in Oakland, California.
           
Grandpa became ill in 1990 with prostate cancer and passed away in 1995. Grandma and Grandpa would again have to wait.

Grandma remained in the house they shared together in the country for a little over a year, but it was a big house and a lot of work, it became too much for her. She moved into town just up the road from her daughter Linnell and family. She was able to meet many new great grandchildren born during these years. She remained healthy and independent for the majority of the 18 years without Grandpa.

In the years she stayed in her home, she enjoyed the companionship of a caregiver, Nada Olsen. Nada became a much loved friend and visited Grandma regularly at Highland Estates. We so appreciate Nada and the love she showed our Grandma.

Grandma spent the last year and a half at Highland Estates. She found great love and friendship among the staff and residents there. During her life, Grandma enjoyed sewing, quilting, crocheting, reading and all flowers. She and Grandpa loved to travel and visited Europe several times, including her birthplace in Liverpool England. She loved doing genealogy and spent a lot of time trying to find her ancestors and complete their temple work. She was always a lady and had beautiful hair, polished nails and never left the house without lipstick. She was gracious and kind to everyone. She was soft spoken and gentle, a loving mother, wife, grandmother and great grandmother.

Grandma and Grandpa wait no more and are now reunited, this time forever.


Grandpa's Story....



 I was born on Aug. 21, 1917 in Wheelon, Utah. My mother, Mary Adelpha Priest was 16 when she married my father, Frank LeRoy Frodsham. He was called Roy and he was 18. I was their 3rd child, youngest brother to Dan and Jay. My sister Blance was born when I was three years old. She was a delicate child.

My father died when I was five years old of a ruptured appendix. Surgery was performed but he did not recover. I remember him taking me by the hand and saying “Come on Salty Bob, lets go down to the barn”. I also remember seeing him on his horse. After my father died my family was very poor. We had moved to Brigham Cirty. In those days there were no widow’s pensions, or Social Security, or even church welfare. My mother did sewing in her home to provide for us. She worked very hard but we lived barely above starvation conditions.

Two or three years after my father died my mother married Jesse Ver Hobson, a widower with two children, Nona and Clifford .Jesse peddled fruit to Rockland and up through the Bear Lake country for several years and later worked for the city. He made a pretty good living and we all got along pretty well. He was a good stepfather to us. I was a shy kid and Jesse was very kind to me. I was small for my age and the bigger kids always teased me and gave me trouble. Jesse taught me how to box and defend myself and before long I became known as the terror of the neighborhood!

My mother and Jesse had three children, Jesse Vaughn, known as Vaughn, Dahris, and Mavis. With his, hers, and theirs, they had nine children altogether!

I started boxing when quite young and started fighting at boxing matches when professional matches were held. At first I fought in the curtain raisers and was paid 50 cents, which was a lot of money for a little kid in those days. When I was about 14,  I started fighting in the premiminaries and would sometimes make as much as $5.00. I won most of my bouts, and represented my high school in the 140-150 weight class all four years. I still have a broken nose as a reminder of those days!

I loved sports of all kinds and played most during high school, including basketball and football, but I really excelled at track and most especially in baseball, which I played for years, pitching and playing third base, even playing semi professional ball.

In December 1937 I was called to serve a mission in the British Isles. After a week in the Mission Home in SLC I, with others serving in the same mission, made the six day voyage to England. We arrived at Southampton, went to London by train to the Mission Home and received our assignments from President Hugh B. Brown, our Mission President, the great missionary! Later he became an Apostle and a member of the first Presidency. It was a tough mission in those days. We worked hard, but averaged only one convert per missionary per mission. During this time they were starting professional baseball in England. The Sheffield franchise asked President Brown if he could supply missionaries who had played semi-professional baseball in the  U.S. to join with some Canadian professionals, to form a team in this league. President Brown felt this would be a good missionary tool. I was chosen as the player-manager for this team of missionaries.  We played baseball but we also did missionary work. We worked very hard to put in almost as many hours as regular missionaries.  We met a lot of people and made a lot of friends all over the country while doing this and became very well known. Our team was called the Rochdale Greys.  Unfortunately British baseball died during WW II and never recovered.

Toward the end of my mission in the spring of 1939 my companion and I were attending a huge British youth conference in Sheffield. We saw two girls walking across the field. This was to change my entire life. I turned to my companion and pointed out one of the girls who was the prettiest girl I had ever seen. I said “See that girl over there?” He said “Yeah?” I said “That’s the girl I’m going to marry!” He gasped as said “What’s her name?” I said “I don’t know, but I’m going to find out!” Later I found out her name was Ida Willis. I shook her hand and got her address and convinced her to write to me. I had intended to go to Liverpool after my mission was over to get to know her but war broke out in Europe and all us missionaries were sent home. My mission was ended a few months early.

 I returned home and soon it became clear that we were going to be going to war too so I joined the army with the Utah National Guard. In time I made Corporal. In time I joined the Military Police. Ida and I were still writing. I went off to Officers School. I had proposed to Ida and about this time she got her Passport to come to the U.S. I was stationed in Georgia so we were married by a little justice of the peace. As soon as I graduated we got a two week leave so we headed to Utah to be sealed in the Logan temple. During the war years we didn’t have to wait a year after marriage to go to the temple, because couples could only go when the serviceman had leave.

I soon shipped overseas, leaving Ida, expecting our first child, with my family in Idaho. I made it safely through the war, serving in England, France, Ireland, etc. and two years later I came home to my wife a new son I had never met. I decided to go to Chiropractic College so we were off to Iowa for a few hears then on the Los Angeles College of Chiropractic for additional education. 

Finally we moved back to Burley, Idaho to be near family. We decided Lee needed a sister so soon Terri was born, then Linnell and finally Janice. I built a very successful practice in Burley and loved my patients. They were truly my friends. I served in my ward in many callings including Bishop. I was active in my community. I retired after 30 years and truly loved spending time with Ida and visiting my kids and grandkids, which have always been the light of my life. The things that have mattered to me in my  life are my  faith and my family and a powerful love of my Savior Jesus Christ.


Jan 10, 2014

Christmas in Idaho

We had a wonderful Christmas in Idaho with my family. The kiddos had a blast with their cousins. It reminded me of when I was a kid. Grandma and Grandpa's house was such a magical and fun place. Santa brought Kaitlyn an Easy Bake Oven and Jackson a new Spiderman bike. Pretty cool. 

One of my favorite gifts was from my sweet Kaity Pie. She made it at school and used her little hand print for each month. I will treasure it forever. 


Time with Papa
 Markham surprised me with the kitchen island I've been pining for. It is so awesome!!! I really have LOVED having the extra counter and storage space. It's a kitchen game changer for sure!
We are back home now and are getting back to our routine. Kaity is super busy with school and dance every night. Markham is super busy at work. The kiddos don't see his face until the weekends during January. It's tough but I remind them that some daddy's have to travel a lot for work and Kaity said, " And some daddy's are in the army and are gone." It's important for them and me to keep perspective during this month because it can be a bummer. So we play and dance, watch movies and relax at home. My mom and sister came and stayed for a few days and we had so much fun! We went to Tai Pan, Hobby Lobby, and Gordmans! It was great. I picked up a few things for the house which I love to do.

Meanwhile...
Jackson and Addie are big buddies. I have 2 pantry peepers now. 
 She loves her brother so much and is always trying to cuddle him. It is really cute. 
 Jackson loves playing the wii, the other day he said, "Look Momma, Addie is playing the wii with me!"

Jan 9, 2014

A Visit with Grandma

My sweet Grandma Ida is in an assisted living home near my parents. She had been living alone for several years after my Grandpa passed away. I always tell Markham "Don't you leave me here alone for 15+ years." It must be so hard to live without your best friend for so long.  I have hundreds of memories of Grandpa and Grandma growing up. They were an awesome pair and played a huge role in my life. Grandpa baptized me, taught me how to ride a bike and was my best friend. I remember spending hours with him outside in the field behind their house burning weeds or watering his garden. I spent just as much time with grandma playing card games and learning how to knit and crochet. It's tough to see her weak and frail.  She is still beautiful at 91.
I make her a calendar of our family every Christmas. I think she likes it.