Well, it has been 8 weeks since Adelyn was born. While she only added 1 more to our family, it feels like 3 more. Our home is exploding with bassinets, bouncers, onsies, blankets, diapers, wipes, more diapers, more wipes, heaps of laundry and a sink full of dirty dishes.
The first 6 weeks were complete madness. The poor little girl must have been totally and completely miserable because she didn't ever stop
crying screaming no matter what we did -if her eyes were open she was screaming. Her screams became the soundtrack to our lives- I showered, fixed meals, took care of Jackson and Kaity, drove to and from school and dance, everything--all while little Addie screamed her face off. I was on the verge of tears all the time. I am afraid I was totally bankrupt on patience for my other 2 kids, that is what non-stop crying and no sleep will do to you. The crying would stop when I nursed her and/or if she was asleep, which she fought fiercely. The only sleep I got was on the couch with her on my chest.
While nursing brought silence, it was HELL. For some reason, my children really struggle with this. She basically chewed me to a raw bloody mess. It was the kind of brain stabbing pain that curls your toes and makes your palms sweat. Worse than labor times 10. If it wasn't flu season I would have quit, but I wanted her to get all those magic antibodies or whatever in breast milk. I was taking lortab and 800 mg ibuprofen just to survive it. I had a lactation specialist come to the house, which was not cheap and not awesome. She noted that Adelyn was clamping down and that I should try to nurse her when she was calm and not crying. HA!! If I waited for that to happen she would surely starve to death. Then she suggested the stress from being induced could have "gotten her off on the wrong foot." She said I was doing everything right and it would get better, to just hang in there -kind of like telling someone with a broken leg to "walk it off." The only thing that hour accomplished was making us $85 dollars poorer.
Please note, Kaity and Jackson at the tender ages of 6 and 3 were being totally neglected. I felt awful. Kaitlyn started acting out and was super emotional and angry. Jackson started peeing his pants again. When I finally got Adelyn to sleep and out of my arms, I was anxious to go to the bathroom, eat something, take a shower, get some laundry done, etc., etc., etc. Kaitlyn would say "mommy would you please play a game with me?" Once we got 15 minutes clocked before Adelyn started crying again.
Meanwhile Markham was super busy at work- to the tune of 80+ a week. He didn't have time or energy to help me when he managed to make it home at midnight to just go back and do it all over again in 6 hours- 6 days a week. Probably not smart to have a baby during the most demanding time of the year for your husband.
Then there was the snow. It snowed and snowed and snowed and got deeper and deeper and piled higher and higher. I wasn't out there shoveling it, trust me.
Markham wrecked his new car coming home one night in the storm. He had stayed in Salt Lake the night before because the weather was so awful. It was still awful, but he was worried about me so he was coming home. He slid into another car and got hopelessly stuck on the side of the freeway. He was freaked out that someone would crash into him- like a huge semi that couldn't stop fast enough. I remember seeing the bright flashing lights of the tow truck drive up to our house in the snow. Adelyn was crying.
The only thing that literally saved me was a lot of support from family and friends. Markham's mom came and stayed for a week- which was so so wonderful. My mom and sister came at different times to help. They held Adelyn, did my dishes, did my laundry, played with Kaity and Jacks and kept me from losing my mind.
Things are a lot better now. Markham is home at night.
Gentlease formula and gripe water have helped Addie quite a bit. She is still pretty demanding. She wants to be held all the time, but the non-stop screaming has stopped. I wear her in my Ergobaby pack a lot. Best $$ we have spent on baby gear. It is worth its weight in gold. I had pretty much given up nursing when I got mastitis. My ob said as long as I had open wounds I would get it again. After 2 weeks, I was totally healed. I have been trying to build up my supply again, we will see. I don't understand how something so natural can be so hard.
January quotable quotes --
"Are we in hell?"
"Get me on the lido deck!"
"This too shall pass."
"She doesn't ever stop crying does she?"
February has been much much better. We are even smiling again!!!!
Some of my favorite pictures-
Look at that smile! We have come a LONG way.
